Hideki Shioda & Lingerie Muto vs. Chief Shinigami & Konaka
This Chief Shinigami is NOT the Shinigami from Wrestle Yume Factory. This guy is some tubby pasty dude doing some kind of native american gimmick. It’s horribly poor taste, so just right for FIGHTING ULTIMATE CRAZY KINGS. Konaka is wearing a striped sweater and dungarees along with his usual facepaint. I think it may be a reference to a horror movie or something but its a very cool look. Chief Shinigami is a menace too immediately thwarting all attempts at wrestling by hitting guys with foreign objects. After like 30 seconds of in ring action they start brawling in the street. Really taking their time to explore this quiet Japanese neighbourhood to the fullest. Konaka almost gets thrown into a ravine. Sawa hits a Mutoh style elbow on the concrete. Konaka at one point vomits some green slime on the street. Then they find some dog poop in the street and try to shove someones face in it. They find what looks like a shrine with a Torii. They pray at the shrine. Then they brawl at the shrine. After deserating a holy site they move on to fighting on a playground. There’s piledrivers and backdrop suplexes and shining wizards on the sand. A slide is used. They move further on to brawling in the middle of a busy street with cars going by. Some ladies are waiting with their bikes, and Sawa goes and snatches a bike riding it away. Imagine just waiting for the bus or something and then a cross dressing wrestler with a bald cap shows up, takes your bike and rides it away. After getting off he kicks at one of the ladies too. The match ends when Sawa puts a figure 4 on Konaka (again, on the concrete) and Konaka reverses it. A fitting crafty technical ending to this fine opening match.
Shoichi Uchida & Takaku Fuke vs. Hideaki Sumi & Mexican 69
Mexican 69 is a fat guy in a mask. He’s a typical FU*CK style wrestler, meaning he tries to wrestle but the outcome just comes out as bizarre. It’s really its own genre of surreality. Sumi is great, he is a crazy karateka who wrestles like a modern day Masashi Aoyagi, and he does have some actually nice shooty exchanges with Fuke here. Uchida is also a good wrestler but saddled working opposite Mexican 69. At one point some women in the crowd broke into a weird choir-like singing, so I guess they were in on it too. Then the wrestlers go for a stroll in the street again with Sumi and Fuke trading chest kicks and locking in shoot holds in the neighbourhood. At one point Uchida rides past them on a scooter, having Mexican69 on his back. I would take major TV stations hostage and broadcast this stuff to the masses if I could. The fight moves in front of the Torii shrine from the previous match, but Sumi and 69 will have none of it and they quietly walk back to the ring. There is probably some subtext there about the fans excitedly following the wrestlers outside and then having to walk awkwardly all the way back next to the elderly Pancrase legend Takaku Fuke. The match ends rather unceremoniously as Uchida tries and fails to wrestle Mexican 69.
Killer Master vs. Magnitude Kishiwada
Killer Master for some reason is dressed looking a lot like Badboy Hido. This match goes as such: Master touches Kishiwada, and immediately is thrown outside and eating stiff chairshots. Kishiwada then walks Master outside to the street, to the site of the Torii. There he chops Master some, puts on an abdominal stretch, throws him into a wire fence, and then walks him back to the ring. Wrestlers are like kittens – when you grab their scruff they are just paralyzed and have to go along with whatever you want to do. Anytime Master tries anything he gets waffled by Kishiwada in a way that indicates Kishiwada has little regard for his opponent. Back in the ring Master is eating more stiff offense from Kishiwada. Kishiwada puts a Figure 4 on Killer Master and Master gets a megapop from the 12 or so people watching when he actually reverses it. Master gets a brief comeback but quickly he gets blasted by a nasty lariat to his face, and then goes down to a basic back senton.
Hideki Shioda & Killer Master & Takaku Fuke vs. JAIL & Konaka &Magnitude Kishiwada
Kishiwada works the mic some, which I guess prompts this match. Konaka is still in the sweater and dungarees. They brawl briefly to start, before the Konaka/JAIL/Kishiwada trio quickly start isolating Killer Master. JAIL actually has a cool look wearing a mask and striped convict outfit. He also seems competent. Master actually gets some offense in but he flubs nearly everything he tries. Once again he takes some nasty hits from Kishiwada. And Konaka looks like a mighty competent wrestler too. He locks in a series of cool submissions on Master and a triangle choke gets the tap. Yes, Master lost the match before he could even make a tag. Things work differently in FU*CK.
Hideaki Sumi & Mexican 69 vs. Hideki Shioda & Munenori Sawa
Sumi and Sawa speed tagging each other was great, I’d love to see a singles match between them. Then they tagged the other 2 guys in and things got weird again. 69 did that weird comedy move where he super slowly rolled over his opponent. It seems that Shioda wants to try, even hitting some snug strikes and a nice spin kick which exaggerates the subsequent weirdness of the exchanges even more. Sawa and Sumi do another cool 30 second exchange. Then Sawa gets isolated, doesn’t even make the hot tag, just comes back and wins really quickly. The match last like 5 minutes. Baffling.
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