FU*CK Cool Pro Wrestling 1/2/2008

 Hideki Shioda & Lingerie Muto vs. Chief Shinigami & Konaka

This Chief Shinigami is NOT the Shinigami from Wrestle Yume Factory. This guy is some tubby pasty dude doing some kind of native american gimmick. It’s horribly poor taste, so just right for FIGHTING ULTIMATE CRAZY KINGS. Konaka is wearing a striped sweater and dungarees along with his usual facepaint. I think it may be a reference to a horror movie or something but its a very cool look. Chief Shinigami is a menace too immediately thwarting all attempts at wrestling by hitting guys with foreign objects. After like 30 seconds of in ring action they start brawling in the street. Really taking their time to explore this quiet Japanese neighbourhood to the fullest. Konaka almost gets thrown into a ravine. Sawa hits a Mutoh style elbow on the concrete. Konaka at one point vomits some green slime on the street. Then they find some dog poop in the street and try to shove someones face in it. They find what looks like a shrine with a Torii. They pray at the shrine. Then they brawl at the shrine. After deserating a holy site they move on to fighting on a playground. There’s piledrivers and backdrop suplexes and shining wizards on the sand. A slide is used. They move further on to brawling in the middle of a busy street with cars going by. Some ladies are waiting with their bikes, and Sawa goes and snatches a bike riding it away. Imagine just waiting for the bus or something and then a cross dressing wrestler with a bald cap shows up, takes your bike and rides it away. After getting off he kicks at one of the ladies too. The match ends when Sawa puts a figure 4 on Konaka (again, on the concrete) and Konaka reverses it. A fitting crafty technical ending to this fine opening match.

Shoichi Uchida & Takaku Fuke vs. Hideaki Sumi & Mexican 69

Mexican 69 is a fat guy in a mask. He’s a typical FU*CK style wrestler, meaning he tries to wrestle but the outcome just comes out as bizarre. It’s really its own genre of surreality. Sumi is great, he is a crazy karateka who wrestles like a modern day Masashi Aoyagi, and he does have some actually nice shooty exchanges with Fuke here. Uchida is also a good wrestler but saddled working opposite Mexican 69. At one point some women in the crowd  broke into a weird choir-like singing, so I guess they were in on it too. Then the wrestlers go for a stroll in the street again with Sumi and Fuke trading chest kicks and locking in shoot holds in the neighbourhood. At one point Uchida rides past them on a scooter, having Mexican69 on his back. I would take major TV stations hostage and broadcast this stuff to the masses if I could. The fight moves in front of the Torii shrine from the previous match, but Sumi and 69 will have none of it and they quietly walk back to the ring. There is probably some subtext there about the fans excitedly following the wrestlers outside and then having to walk awkwardly all the way back next to the elderly Pancrase legend Takaku Fuke. The match ends rather unceremoniously as Uchida tries and fails to wrestle Mexican 69.

Killer Master vs. Magnitude Kishiwada

Killer Master for some reason is dressed looking a lot like Badboy Hido. This match goes as such: Master touches Kishiwada, and immediately is thrown outside and eating stiff chairshots. Kishiwada then walks Master outside to the street, to the site of the Torii. There he chops Master some, puts on an abdominal stretch, throws him into a wire fence, and then walks him back to the ring. Wrestlers are like kittens – when you grab their scruff they are just paralyzed and have to go along with whatever you want to do. Anytime Master tries anything he gets waffled by Kishiwada in a way that indicates Kishiwada has little regard for his opponent. Back in the ring Master is eating more stiff offense from Kishiwada. Kishiwada puts a Figure 4 on Killer Master and Master gets a megapop from the 12 or so people watching when he actually reverses it. Master gets a brief comeback but quickly he gets blasted by a nasty lariat to his face, and then goes down to a basic back senton.

Hideki Shioda & Killer Master & Takaku Fuke vs. JAIL & Konaka &Magnitude Kishiwada

Kishiwada works the mic some, which I guess prompts this match. Konaka is still in the sweater and dungarees. They brawl briefly to start, before the Konaka/JAIL/Kishiwada trio quickly start isolating Killer Master. JAIL actually has a cool look wearing a mask and striped convict outfit. He also seems competent. Master actually gets some offense in but he flubs nearly everything he tries. Once again he takes some nasty hits from Kishiwada. And Konaka looks like a mighty competent wrestler too. He locks in a series of cool submissions on Master and a triangle choke gets the tap. Yes, Master lost the match before he could even make a tag. Things work differently in FU*CK.

Hideaki Sumi & Mexican 69 vs. Hideki Shioda & Munenori Sawa

Sumi and Sawa speed tagging each other was great, I’d love to see a singles match between them. Then they tagged the other 2 guys in and things got weird again. 69 did that weird comedy move where he super slowly rolled over his opponent. It seems that Shioda wants to try, even hitting some snug strikes and a nice spin kick which exaggerates the subsequent weirdness of the exchanges even more. Sawa and Sumi do another cool 30 second exchange. Then Sawa gets isolated, doesn’t even make the hot tag, just comes back and wins really quickly. The match last like 5 minutes. Baffling.

The Library

Time to FU*CK

 Fugofugo Yumeji & Hiroaki Moriya vs. Hideaki Sumi & Yuki Toyoura, FU*CK 5/30/2021

Man, Fugo is super broken down, like he can barely walk, but he is still one menace in the ring. He looks so tough, like it would hurt you if you hit him, and when he's throwing hands he is just killing you. All the Sumi vs. Fugo exchanges here where hard as fuck, no trained monkey show for sure. Sumi also did a pretty decent job torturing Moriyas arm and I was just going to write down that they worked a well rounded match, but then Fugo sprinted across the ring to clock Sumi in the jaw again. Moriya and Toyoura are absolutely nothing special but their involvement in the match is so miniscule and I kind of liked Moriya, who is weirdly old, like older than Fugo here, doing something of a Tenryu impression. You want this for the old guys killing each other, and I really liked that Fugo and Sumi even got to do the finish. Yes it was a bit slow, but it felt like a fight to the  death. These kicks from Sumi were no joke for sure, and Fugo took them right to the skull.

Fugofugo Yumeji & Hiroaki Moriya vs.  Tatsuhiko Nakagawa & Hiroyuki Iwahara, FU*CK 1/3/2022

This starts as Fugo & Nakagawa vs. Iwahara & Moriya, but about a minute into that Nakagawa decides to attack Fugo and it turns into this match. Bad bad decision, because holy mother of god Fugo decides to absolutely murder him. The opening exchange of this may have been the most violent thing of the year, it starts as basically two tough old guys who won't back down beating on each other and then FUGO completely escalates it with a headbutt that sounded like a rock cracking. I thought things couldn't get more violent then that and Nakagawa looked like he was having an aneyurisma, but then Fugo headbutted him in the face and then stomped on his bleeding mouth. Totally out of nowhere and hideously brutal. The rest of the match is pretty good too, obviously not on that level, but surprisingly decent for a FU*CK match. We get a better look at Moriya here, he is built like a potatoe, all lumpy and no arms, and his Tenryu stuff looks pretty nice here as he and Fugo put a good beatdown on Iwahara with Moriya busting out some nice kicks to the face, punches and lariats. The highlight though was obviously Fugos crazy suicide dive from that tiny ring. He looked like the craziest motherfucker on earth in this match, all while working FU*CK in a toy ring in front of like 12 people. You have to love the man.

Karateka vs. Pro Wrestler matches!

 

Iori Sugawara vs. Ninja Lee, Kazushi-Gumi 1/19/2018

Great little match, exactly what we are looking for on this blog. Ninja Lee is  a masked guy doing some mortal kombat stuff and Sugawara is this veteran karateka who can work a really solid pro wrestling match, and they are fighting each other in a chain ring. Lee can really throw out of nowhere axe kicks and fast hands, and Sugawara is like a Finlay with karate kicks here, working snug holds, using the chain ropes, trying to rip the mask, but also working the guy over with nasty kicks. I love a match where two sleazy guys give their all and they gave their all, stiff work, unpulled kicks, hard suplexes and STO on the not very giving ring mat, this ruled.

Hideaki Sumi vs. A-Z, FU*CK 8/22/2021

I don‘t know why we have to watch FU*CK now to get good shootstyle but here we are. Sumi is older here and has silver dyed hair like an anime character and you can see he‘s developed into a really cool worker. A-Z is some kick padded skinny guy who I assume is young (who knows, he might be 40) and Sumi really punishes him, really thudding kicks and bare knuckle punches. Sumi knows how to beat on a guy and then hit a huge kick for accentuation. His Tenryu-style enzuigir where he barely leaves the ground is great and his spinning wheel kick landed flush in A-Zs face. There is some decent groundwork (Sumi can put on holds) and it‘s just a way better match than it had any right to be in a promotion as sleazy as FU*CK worked for a Twitcast that maybe 20 people bought. A-Z looked alright but Sumi looked like a Katsumi Usuda type worker who can have a good little match against anyone.

Akitoshi Saito vs. Juyong Kim, Seishin Kaikan 7/13/1991

At this point, wrestler vs. Karateka is pretty much the only kind of pro wrestling I‘ll accept. This was violent, out of control, just perfect, Saito is an Aoyagi protege and he did his master proud here. Kim is a thickly built Korean pro wrestler (I assume), and while he looks strong he looks like was not ready for the punishment Saito would give him here. This is young nimble Saito and he just tries to crush this guy, it looks like one of his spin kicks bloodied Kims nose or lip. Kim hits some nice suplex including a really gritty butterfly suplex where he just muscles Saito over, the kind of suplexes where it looked like the other guy wasn‘t going along at all but still flew. At the second round Kim just grabs a chair and demolishes Saito, which is what you should do after you got uncessarily brutalized by a karateka in a foreign country, why did nobody ever run Steve Austin vs. A karateka? Saito comes back guns blazing though and the ending is awesome, as Saito takes off his jacket throws it in Kims face and then knees blinded Kim in the head until he stays down. Gotta love pro wrestling.