It's a Rotten World

Ian Rotten vs Cole Radrick, IWA Mid South 11/4/2016

As far as I can remember, Ian Rotten has been fat. Quite tubby in ECW, fat in the early 2000s, and growing ever fatter as the years progressed. Always quite nimble for a fat guy, but by 2016 his years of being Ian Rotten seem to have caught up. He’s way slower than I ever remember him being, and moves like he would struggle to get up if you knocked him on his back. Looking it up, it seems Ian Rotten and IWA Mid South as a whole have been gone from wrestling for a couple years now, which seems nearly impossible to believe considering what a consistent slimey presence Ian has had on the indies for well over 20 years like the mold that seems to be growing on the walls of this dim little dive called an arena that they held this match in. And this match is an excellent representation of what made Ians presence in wrestling so fun and unique, well if you discount all the scummy things he’s done, I think by the time of this match he must have been cancelled a dozen times. Last I remember I think he was manipulating people online into thinking he was some kind of woke darling, with a few people being genuinely shocked when it was revealed in another scandal that he wasn’t at all such a wholesome person. Well, I am not going to judge what he may or may not have done behind the scenes, all I can judge is what went down before the cameras. In this match, a fat, scummy Ian Rotten goes out to stretch and potatoe a young Cole Radrick in so many unique, fun and painful looking ways. This match is a relentless and uncompromising as the female fan who kept yelling ‘Common Cole!’ in the same monotone voice throughout the match no matter what was happening. Really makes me wonder what else Ian has done in these recent years, because there’s no reason he couldn’t do what he does here in half a dozen matches per year or so. The meth BattlARTs holds hold up as well as anything and the nasty palm strikes and headbutts are as sick as ever. I am not super familiar with Cole Radrick, he did slap his knee weirdly one time but aside from that he is perfectly good. Energetic, makes a good effort at getting out of Ians holds, is perfectly willing to get hit with stiff palm strikes and backhands and headbutts and a Lou Thesz elbow to the groin, has a nice shoot punch exchange, and headbutts Ian Rotten way harder than a normal person would headbutt someone who has Hep-C. This is not just a nostalgia trip for the few sickos who liked Ians meth shootstyle matches in 2002, it’s a genuinely great, compelling little match thanks to the serious fight Cole Radrick puts up, and they get a nice, genuine ovation from the small crowd of perhaps 30 people that gathered to watch this spectacle. If there was such a thing as a hall of fame for independent wrestling matches I would frame this and put it in it.

Ian Rotten vs Mitch Ryder, IWA Mid South 2/18/2017

A lot of independent wrestling kind of start to lose its identity, it’s unique flair. Not IWA Mid South though. Still running in some half empty hall on a bare floor, still the same seedy brawls, still Ian waddles out to bleed. I remember people saying he had gotten out of shape in like 2010. There are still obese fans sitting in the front row, one of them with a walking assistance and he wisely pulls his sweater over his ears when lighttubes break near him. This is a street fight so they jump each other. It’s deathmatch stuff with both guys breaking out light tubes but the way they work it is oddly adjacent to the old blue collar Mid South brawls of yore. And both these guys have good looking strikes. Ryder hits a really hard crossface, Ian palm strikes him in the jaw because Ian does things like that. Ian hits a headbutts with light tubes and then flops over to the floor to blade himself. Doesn’t Ian have Hep at this point? Who cares, Mitch Ryder sure doesn’t care. Ian Rotten flips over a trashcan and it’s a shoot trashcan and all kinds of grime and trash seeps out onto the floor, then he grabs a beer bottle from the grime and trash to carve Ryder up. Ian sodomizing a screaming and bleeding Mitch with the broken beer bottle on the floor is some real Americana. Mitch Ryder throws great punches. Ians are not on the same level but still good. They trade punch combos a bit which is good, Ian starts to work on Mitchs bad neck with chairs… Mitch goes to a big stash of deathmatch weapons. The commentators start talking about how he might come up with all manner of modern deathmatch weapons like barbedwire boards and such, but instead he comes up with a fucking old school fireball that burns Ians face. Ian sells the fuck out of it, screaming and crying for water. You don’t usually see big, tough, fat man crying in any media. It’s kind of a taboo, but Ian is not afraid to break taboos. Mitch Ryder punches a camera girl in the face and she bleeds too. Chairs are thrown and this is starting to hint at a Tracy Smothers type riot with Mitch being unhinged and punching everyone in the face, and then Mitch storms off. Thought this was getting really good and then they just ended the match there.

Ian Rotten vs Mitch Ryder, IWA Mid South 3/4/2017

This is the last man standing match that is set up by the fireball angle. It’s a big blowoff brawl, again in the other seedy hall, in the pale green light. Ian Rotten is not a great brawler, at least not at this stage. A lot of slowly walking here and choking the other guy a little, and then slowly walking over there and choking the other guy a little, and occasionally a lazy lowblow and things like that to transition. There are still fun Ian-isms: him punching Ryder in the hamstring, a pretty gruesome double fishhook, a fucking gator roll into a choke on the floor. It’s a slow match but it’s worked well enough that the audience still breaks into “Ian” chants at times. Ryder works hard here with his facial expressions and good punches (I do miss those XCW Mid-West tapes). At one point he gives Ian a suplex on some stairs (with full on Christmas lighting) and because Ian can’t go over fully it kind of turns into a brainbuster. At one point Mitch gets slapped by the girl that he bloodied in the other match. There is some good tooth and nail fighting here, and they leather each other with a belt. It’s like there’s a great match here, but its kind of overdosed on Fentanyl. Eventually Rotten blows a fireball at Ryders face and Ryder sells it like crazy, flopping all the way to the floor and getting the 10 count while a boy with glasses and a pepsi throws popcorn at him, an end befitting to any legendary feud.